i dare you

As I have mentioned here before, money scares me. Money scares me a lot. The cost of education is rising (like health care, the cost of living, etc, etc, etc) every year, leaving more and more students out in the cold. I don't need to tell you that students are looking at a grim job market, especially students like me and Denis.

I met Denis just a few months ago through facebook. He also has a place in the Hollins University MFA in creative writing class of 2011. I was so apprehensive about talking to the 14 other students accepted into the program, but Denis created a facebook page dedicated for the class of 2011 to meet and talk.

When Denis first told me about his financial difficulties, I felt so sad. If the world made ANY sense at all talented people like Denis wouldn't have to worry about funding his education. The reality is that a top notch education in creative writing doesn't come cheap, and Hollins is a top notch program.

He has set his goal for $13,000+. I know it sounds steep, but I really do believe in the power of people to reach out their hands and support one another. I know we're all broke as a joke right now, but if you could spare anything he would be so, so, so appreciative. It would be so sad to see him unable to attend Hollins in the fall! Click here to go to Denis' fundraising page to read more about him!

I won't spoil for anyone who is planning on watching it later but...

NO. I DO NOT ACCEPT THIS CANNON. DO NOT WANT. I am broken in 100,000 little pieces and I shall never, ever recover. My sister also echos these sentiments: ;____________________________;

Does anyone want to give a $1,000 or so? I need to see this show.

Can't decide if I like this song or not. I'm leaning toward like, since she reminds me a bit of a female Patrick Wolf.

( SPOILERS! )

^______________________________^ Who's a happy girl? I'm a happy girl! Now I'm going to bounce off and watch the next one.

Watching the two part series 2 finale of Torchwood in preparation for my streaming of the new series online. I was going to wait until it came to BBC America, but that's 2 weeks from now!

Ashamedly, I forgot all about my FAVORITE LINE FROM THE SHOW EVER was in the second part of finale!

After Tosh and Ianto rush in to save Gwen from the Weeviles, Ianto points a gun at Captain John.

Captain John: Don't start! I'll make things right, eye candy!

*DIES*

Since I'm not really into (any) fandom much anymore, I kind of forget how good Doctor Who and Torchwood are at fan service.

Anyway, after I finish refreshing myself on what happened last series, I'm going to start the new Torchwood. I have the worst memory in the world when it comes to TV shows and the like, so I really needed to rewatch.

In other John Barrowman news...I've been watch "How To Solve a Problem Like Maria" on BBC America and it has been, to say the least, highly entertaining. Graham Norton...Andrew Lloyd Webber...John Barrowman...It's just all I could ever dream of in a TV show!

When they repeat kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me it's nearly divine.

FASHION. Seems like I am making a lot of posts about fashion lately, but that's because fashion (or least fashion available to ME) is going into some trends that I LOVE LOVE LOVE. It's been a rough couple of years for me fashion wise; I haven't really bought many new things and most of my favorite pieces have been in my wardrobe for at least three or four years.

So, now on to some picspam of some Things I'd Love to Have, Fashion edition

If there's one thing I love, it's a good bohemian print, like paisley.

From Alloy, one of my favorite mail order companies. Available in sizes S-XXXL for $46.50. The only problem I can see is that it is a bit short. I bought a shirt dress from Alloy that I just had to hem into a regular shirt because it was just too short and my badonkadonk is just too big.

( more fashion funtacular )

MORE NEWS FROM THE PLUS SIZED FASHION WORLD!!!!

Beth Ditto, lead singer of the amazing rock band The Gossip, has designed a plus-sized lined to be sold at Evans, a plus-sized clothing store (similar to Lane Bryant) out of the UK. It is supposed to launch online on July 9th @ Evans.com

THIS IS EXCITING, FRIENDS!!!

This is chicken paprikash and it is one of the best dishes in the WORLD. I ate it while I was in Budapest and I thought of it today randomly while I was hungry for lunch. It seems fairly easy to make so maybe I'll tell mom I want to make it tomorrow for dinner. I'll probably just cook it with regular egg noodles and not with Spatzle, which is a little dumpling sort of thing. I'd be afraid I'd totally screw up the spatzle. Perhaps I'll try it when I'm feeling a little more ambitious.

Anyway, here's a very easy recipe I found for Hungarian Chicken Paprikash, found here.
Ingredients:
24 oz. (1.5 lbs) boneless skinless chicken breasts
12 oz. sour cream
48 oz. chicken broth
1 onion
3-4 tablespoons Hungarian paprika
2 tablespoon garlic
1 tablespoon salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon ginger
2 bay leaves
corn starch (or preferably potato starch, if you have access to a health food store)
olive oil
( the rest here )

I...I...I have no words.

I can't wait for the new Torchwood series. ^______________________________^

I can not tell you how many times I've gone to Forever 21 with my friends and oohed and ahhed over their wares. Of course, the brand only goes up to size 12, if you were lucky. I am a solid 20/22, sometimes 22/24, and have been since I was about 16 years old, so I had no hope of me ever fitting into their clothes. Often times I can wear an XL in "regular" sizes, but at Forever 21 event their XL was too bitty.

Now, apparently, they have a plus sized lined called "Faith 21", which looks pretty decent. I'm not sure how happy I am about it, since it is only available in "select stores" which is code for "we're going to fuck this over from the beginning so we can have an excuse to pull the line from stores and kick all the fatties out." But I am often cynical on these matters. I am excited that they decided to provide a fairly inexpensive line of clothes for trendy plus sized young women! I love Lane Bryant and all, but sometimes they are just too expensive and cater to a more professional demographic. I want float, happy boho clothes dammit! There will be a time when I need suits, but right now I just want party dresses and screen t-shirts.

One of the select stores is Easton in Columbus, just 15 minutes away from Good Old Otterbein. I'm planning a trip down there this July--I am definitely at least going to have a look at the stuff in person!

Anyway, I have found a ZOMG I MUST HAVE THIS NOW piece. Alas. I'm saving for a tattoo.


$17.80; GOD I WANT TO FIND A DATE SO I CAN WEAR THIS TOP.

Shit. Bad news. Just looked at the size chart to find that this "plus sized line" only goes up to a 15/16. I HATE THE WORLD.

I swear, once I get my masters I am going to move to a hippie commune in California and farm tomatoes and make homemade flour tortillas. I currently fit the stereotype perfectly. Haven't showered, haven't shaved since graduation, wearing long dresses and skirts, birkenstocks, no make up


But I know I wouldn't last. I'm too materialistic. I need the internet.

Now I am going to sit out in the sun and read.

Lately I've been feeling all tired and mopey. I blame being stuck here at my parent's house for the next month and a half. Normally, I feel pretty alive, vibrant and eager. I am quippy, funny and charming. But lately I feel like my star is growing dim.

Not because I've been rejected or hurt; I think it's because I'm so insanely bored. Usually I'm motivated to get up and go about my day and when my day is done I sit down and write for about an hour or so. This has not been the case for the past week. I stay up late doing NOTHING and I get up in the afternoon and do NOTHING all day long. There no purpose, no drive. I could be using this time to write my little heart out but I am easily distracted and frankly, just disinterested.

I was the cheerleader for my fellow English majors to finish their projects. Now the cheerleader needs a cheerleader. I miss my at times stupid optimism. All I see is a month of being woken by my parents fighting in the morning and getting snapped at by aforementioned parents because they are in a bad mood. Oh yes, and the constant nagging from my mother: "Have you cleaned your room?"..."Have you called about anymore jobs?"..."Have you called about an apartment?"..."You should work out."..."What do you DO all day?"..."How did you pass your classes if you just moped around like this at school?" AHHHH! I CAN'T TAKE IT. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

I'm at a loss! When I have felt like this before it was because I was depressed. I don't feel that aching loss and sadness like I did before, so why can't I just kick myself in the ass and get something productive done?!

half of the time I feel broke, cracked, peeled, weathered/half of the time I feel shiny and new/half of the time I feel I'm clever/and half of the time I just haven't a clue
-H.O.T.T., Wheat

I've done this for three years now, starting in the year of 07-08. The post for the last 2 years can be found here and here. I decided to start a new one around June because as long as I can remember this time of year has marked some odd transition in my life. So instead of starting it in January at the beginning of the real new year, I've decided to do it in June when I feel like a new phase of life has begins.

Here is the 2008-2009 version of this yearly playlist, featuring 27 songs from the likes of Billy Joel, Coldplay, Hanson and The Format. I've also included some fun (and odd) youtube links featuring the songs. Oh joy! ( music for a girl who feels much older and much younger than 22 )

Oh my god. So much stuff happened this year. So much more stuff will happen next year.

I've been watching videos from this man for the past day. He is MESMERIZING. Also, I've seen some interviews with him and he seems genuinely nice. Always a plus.


in other news...I am now home and officially moved out of my apartment at Otterbein. An appropriate graphic text representation of how I feel about this is ;___________;

This movie looks like good fun. Love Larry David, Ed Begley, Henry Cavil (who is only in the preview for like .15505999 seconds!!) and Patricia Clarkson (who seems like such a classy lady). Evan Rachel Wood has yet to prove she is 100% annoying, and in fact, looks like she could be kind of charming in this film.

I know Woody Allen sometimes makes flops. It's bound to happen when he makes, like, 2-4 movies a year. Hopefully it's good fun.


In other news...I graduate on Sunday, at long last. I'm actually supposed to be packing my room right now, but ya know.

Awww, this will be probably my last entry from IIB. Sad times!

Despite my not being Catholic, I have always liked the idea of having a favorite Saint or perhaps just someone else to talk to other than Jesus or God (or Jesus/God, wtfever). A few years ago I was reading about St. Ursula. Apparently, she is the patron saint of students, especially female students.

All I gotta say is that Ursula has been my girl. I only have 3 more pages and then a sit essay test on Monday and I can PEACE OUT.




Isn't she pretty? Some say she's a Catholicsized version of the goddess Freya, which just makes her even more awesome.

In other news...

I GOT A $1,000 SCHOLARSHIP FROM THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT! OH MY GOODNESS!

Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as your __% innocent.

01. Smoked
02. Drank alcohol
03. Cried when someone died.
04. Been drunk.
05. Had sex.
06. Been to a concert.
07. Gotten/given a hand job.
08. Been verbally/sexually harassed.
09. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose .
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a Wal-Mart or a department store.
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 87%

21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger.
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray.
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 80%

31. Played strip poker/darts/pool.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. made beans.
40. Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 76%

41. French kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep.
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 69%

51. Watched a person die.
52. Kissed somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital.
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
56. made spicy beans.
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed Goth.
59. Dressed preppy .
60. Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 65%

61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 58%

71. Been caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush .
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 55%

81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 2 months.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore .

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 46%

91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Left a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.

Ending percentage: 41%





Some of these were inane or offensive. Lame.

Apparently I won an award and I have to appear at the fancy-pants academic convocation next week on Tuesday...DURING MY WORK HOURS. Fab. Hopefully the boss won't be pissed.

Also, I'm required to dress "no less than business casual." UM WUT? I...don't have smart people clothes. For the first time since I got my period I wish I was born a man because then all I would have to do would be put on some black pants, a shirt and a tie and I'd be golden. But what in the hell is business casual for women? I have 2 little black dresses here. I also have a brown party dress and a purple, teal and black party dress. Is that too dressed up? Too sexy for an academic awards ceremony?

I have a pair of khaki pants. I have a pair of black pants. I have ONE button down shirt (big boobs and buttons do not mix well). I also have some dresses. One of them is bright yellow, teal and green wrap dress. Is there a NO BRIGHT COLORS policy in business casual world? I knew I should have brought the dress my mom bought me to wear for graduation back! It is definitely business casual and looks nice on me. I have a navy blue shirt-dress but it is 3/4 sleeves and it's going to be hot. Same with an emerald green dress.

Should I go out an look for a sale on shirts at like, JC Penny's or something? I mean, I know I'll use it again sometime. I just don't want to look stupid when I walk in there in one of my summer dresses and everyone looks like real adults.